Some kids spent a day learning how to ride a bicycle, but it took me a week. I still remember being alone on a river bank, dirt high and slope steep, full of tall grass. Then I fell and rolling down with me was the bicycle, all the way to the edge of the water. Of course, I also didn’t know how to swim, but the grass saved me.
Once I learned to ride a bicycle though, it was my life. It took me everywhere I needed to go. Most importantly, it took me where my friends were going, and they were my life. School was only going for half a day, and I had to figure out what to do with myself for the other half. My friends knew more than me. I followed them to after-school activities, which usually meant more schooling. They introduced me to books like The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas. I followed them to their home, so often that their parents and grandparents knew me. By the time I was in college, I would spend Fourth of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with their families. When I was going through difficult times and needed help, my closest friends were there for me. As a man reveals his true characters when life goes against his wills, true friends stay with you through the darkest hours.
While they remained about the same towns throughout the years, I kept moving, and it became harder to make friends as I grew older. But it became easier to be alone as I grew older too. It was the hardest as a teenager, but moving in my late twenties was not nearly as difficult. I had grown accustomed to enjoying my own company. Slowly I turned inward into someone labeled as an introvert. I only had a few close friends, but I enjoyed their big families. I would visit their home not just for the free food, but also to hear the noises and chatter. Now I appreciate the peacefulness of still air, and no food could convince me to join a crowd. The only noises and chatter I now relish are those of the birds and the ones I love.
Sometimes I wonder if I have always been an introvert. Perhaps so, but I enjoyed others’ company too, as long as those dear to me were near me. I used to like getting my makeup done, putting on pretty clothes, attending a party, meeting new folks. Now I still like wearing makeup and a pretty dress, even if only to befriend the one in the mirror. Words like “introvert” and “extrovert” attempt to pigeonhole folks into a class of personality, but in reality, our environment shapes who we are, and we are always flexible enough to move along the spectrum to adapt to it.
I wouldn’t have heard of Mark Twain if not for The Adventures of Tom Sawyer or Jules Verne if not for Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Seas. I wouldn’t be dazzled with the world if I hadn’t heard of my grandfather’s adventures in Russia. Over time, my brain didn’t need as much social stimuli, but it was able to explore the world on its own with the foundation that it was built upon.
We’re afraid of being lonely, and of dying alone. But I think that if we have lived a full life, we never need to feel lonely. There’ll be adventures to discover and stories unveiling themselves as we explore our own past. To be ever mesmerized with nature, to be at peace with ourselves – isn’t it worth looking forward to?
hardlyplaying.blog 