There is an on-going public debate over what is appropriate for kids – what they are not allowed to read. That more than 4,000 unique titles were challenged in public libraries and school libraries in 2023 demonstrates the book ban movement’s reach of intensity. When we look at the books being challenged, it is evident that the battle over our children’s education is never about the children themselves, but always about the adults. Instead of growing them into open-minded, free-thinking adults, we are hell-bent on molding our children to our prejudices and moral censorship.
Moreover, our obsession over what not to read has driven a flux of poor-quality reading material for our kids. The children’s book market is flooded with books pointlessly written, with no purpose other than something, anything for the children to read that does not offend somebody. The content of these books is so over simplistic that it conveys a disrespect toward children. By having them perform these meaningless readings, we undermine their ability to imagine. We undermine their ability to analyze between opposing points of view, between good and evil. When I read to my son these one-liners describing a literal conversation or a literal activity, it bores me to sleep. I must assume that it is just as boring to him. Reading these boring books does not inspire him to read. It delivers just the opposite effect.
The flood of non-offensive reading materials is also driven by helicopter parents, who are obsessed with keeping everyone happy and keeping their children “safe”. At what age is it appropriate to expose our kids to the real world that is full of unfairness and heartaches? To have our children grow up in a bubble of comfort is to do them a disservice. For some, having a dialogue with children over difficult topics is difficult. So instead of communication over ethics, morals, and religious topics, they opt out all together. When we can barely handle discussing bodily functions with our kids, can we afford room for anything else? In the name of protecting our kids, are we really just protecting our own inability to handle tough emotions?
Let’s take a look at The Rose-Elf, a story from Hans Christian Andersen’s Classic Fairy Tales that I read to my son at bed time. It is about a malicious brother who murdered his sister’s boyfriend. The sister then dug up the severed head of her sweetheart and buried it under a jasmine-bough in a flower pot. It’s a gruesome story with an avenging ending. Did it give my son a nightmare? -No, it did not. Did he think it was OK for the brother to do what he did? -No, he did not because it was an opportunity for me to have the conversation with him. Is this too much? -Consider that this classic fairy tale comes from a happiest country in the world, one that invented the word hygge for all things cozy, comfortable, and convivial. It is Denmark, whose parents take their children to see giraffes eaten by tigers, and to see tigers dissected in the open public.
Let’s reflect upon another story from Hans Christian Andersen’s Classic Fairy Tales, The Little Mermaid, one that’s been adapted into animations and movies several times over. In the story, Ariel, the little mermaid, traded in her tongue so she could go on land to seduce the prince. Essentially, she traded in her mind for some legs. In the original story, the prince did not fall in love with her; she was beautiful but she was a “dumb foundling with eloquent eyes.” In the end she died. Failing to gain an immortal soul because she was still a mermaid, she became the air and drifted on sea foam for the next 300 years. There is a thing or two to teach our girls about love here. But in the adaptations, the storyline is completely twisted around. The little mermaid, with her sheer beauty alone, ends up winning her prince and living happily ever after.
There are many ways of parenting, just as there is not only one correct way to raise children. Of course we are all influenced by our cultural upbringing and surroundings. Parental behaviors deemed normal in one society may garner a social service visit in another, so it is wise to conform to certain societal norms. The great writers take culture into consideration, keep contemporary concerns in mind, and have the depth and skill to write for multiple audiences.
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